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How to Understand What is Loneliness

A man alone trying to make send of what is lonelinessHumans are social animals. From infancy to old age, humans tend to rely on one another. But at the same time, we all experience moments in life that we need to go through alone, and the more we struggle against it, the more we suffer. Sometimes loneliness can be seen as an opportunity to improve our relationship with ourselves. At other times, it may signal that we need to take care of what is going on in our brains. But when we experience these situations, the question we all find ourselves asking is, “What is loneliness?”

This is particularly important if you’re working to heal from adrenal fatigue, because of the stressful effects of emotional pain. You can’t be healthy if your emotional life is causing you pain. So, if you suffer from this problem, it’s time to look at what you can do to heal.

What Is Loneliness?

Loneliness is a feeling of disconnect from other people, which is why you can feel lonely even in a crowd. You don't necessarily have to be lonely when you are alone, however, so how you think of this time by yourself can affect whether it leaves you feeling lonely. You can also think of being alone as a period of healthy withdrawal. Being apart from others for a time may encourage healing, provided you have a positive attitude. This time spent in reflection, away from other people or your stressors, may help promote the healing process.

One important aspect of loneliness to consider is why you want people around you. Having people around us can make us forget our faults and regrets. But it is also important for us to face ourselves and forgive ourselves for our mistakes internally. Having people around continuously can become an excuse not to learn about, or like, yourself. 

Fear of what is lonelinessThis is where we have to consider: what is loneliness? Loneliness is not the same as isolation. Being upset that you are alone can become a vicious circle of self-pity and self-accusation. But isolation is just insulation from the world outside so that we can look deep within ourselves and make some resolutions.

The State of Mind

Instead of thinking of it as loneliness, think of being alone as a state of mind which gives you time to realize where your life is going. Often, we feel lonely after a divorce, a bad breakup, or after losing a friend. But instead of just jumping into a new relationship, consider taking the time to grieve the loss of the old relationship, strengthen the relationships you still have by calling family or old friends or neighbors, and taking time to enjoy just being with yourself.

Jumping from one relationship to another just because you fear being alone doesn’t contribute to your well-being. And often these rebound relationships end quickly because you weren't really open to making a deep connection with a new person yet.

If you think deeply about the question “what is loneliness,” you may realize that loneliness has a lot to do with your attitude and thoughts. If you’re able to calm your thoughts and give them a more positive focus, you may find that not only do you feel less lonely, but your relationships work better as well. This is why this time is an opportunity to take a step back from your relationships. Look at them from the outside as an observer. You can then make a more informed assessment of your attitude and values. You can also change things about yourself like your behavior.

Loneliness as a Stressor

In the face of painful emotional situations and the stress that comes with them, withdrawing may be a beneficial response. Your alone time may give you the opportunity to answer the important question “what is loneliness” if it’s more than a temporary state. Loneliness can cause a great deal of emotional stress, and this stress may be ongoing. This makes it a major problem for your adrenal glands.

A young woman figuring out what is loneliness and adrenal fatigueThe adrenal glands play a pivotal function in helping your body function during times of stress. They also protect your body from the negative effects of stress. They’re an essential part of the NeuroEndoMetabolic (NEM) Stress Response. Your NEM controls and directs changes made in the body that protect it from stress. The adrenal glands contribute to the NEM stress response by excreting cortisol, the prime stress-fighting hormone. Ongoing stress, however, can cause fatigued adrenal glands. Your adrenals may thus struggle to keep up with the cortisol demand. We call this Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome (AFS). The symptoms of adrenal fatigue include sleeping problems, fluctuating blood sugar levels, and the inability to think clearly.

Difficulty Identifying the Problem

If you suffer from these issues, it may be difficult for you to identify what’s happening. Most medical tests performed during the early stages of AFS show relatively normal results. This can cause a lot of confusion and further stress.

The symptoms associated with AFS are usually viewed as nonspecific and unconnected to problems with individual body organs by most physicians. This often leads to ineffective responses that focus on addressing the surface problems without changing the underlying issue.

A more comprehensive viewpoint looks at the underlying body systems when faced with the sometimes vague symptoms of adrenal fatigue. This involves understanding and looking at the Neuroaffect circuit of the NEM response and its role in regulating mood, sleep, and thinking ability. This system can also affect how you process alone time and how lonely you feel.

Emotional Pain and Neurotransmitter Imbalances

The Neuroaffect circuit encompasses the brain, the microbiome, and the autonomic nervous system. When you have AFS, this circuit becomes unbalanced because chronic stress damages the neurons, as well as neurotransmitter production, regulation, and control. This can cause a range of symptoms and problems.

Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers that carry signals in the brain. Unfortunately, imbalances are very common in the general population and even more common in people who have AFS. When imbalances or deficiencies occur, it will affect how your brain and your body communicate as well as the overall function of your brain. Understanding this is very important when you’re dealing with bouts of negative emotions and stress. It also raises questions about “what is loneliness?” and how you should respond to these feelings.

A neurotransmitter imbalance can cause a variety of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms. Deficiencies of dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine, in particular, can severely affect your mood, causing depression, general fatigue, and memory problems. This may cause you to feel loneliness, or worsen already existing symptoms.

In the advanced stages of AFS, you may also experience an overload of adrenaline and norepinephrine. And in turn, this causes the body to release chemicals meant to inhibit these neurotransmitters. Over time, the body becomes desensitized to the effects of these neurotransmitters and enters a state of relative catecholamine dominance, which is characterized by feelings of anxiety and depression. This too can worsen loneliness.

Rebalancing Neurotransmitters to Heal Loneliness

If these negative emotions are part of your AFS experience, it’s important that you deal with the underlying problem as well as the outward issues that may cause the emotions. Finding ways to rebalance your neurotransmitter levels could help reduce or even eliminate your loneliness. And it will also reduce your overall stress levels, which will help to alleviate adrenal fatigue.

The research on AFS and neurotransmitter imbalances is still in its infancy, so not a lot is known about this field. However, if you believe that you suffer from this type of problem then it’s important that you seek out medical help. It may be difficult to find professionals that understand everything you’re going through, but it’s essential if you’re determined to recover and live an active and happy life once more.

If you have neurotransmitter deficiencies, your healthcare provider can help identify the specific pathways causing the deficiency and correct the problem at its source.

Taking steps to rebalance neurotransmitter deficiencies may also help improve your mood.

Nutritional supplements made of amino acids, vitamins, and minerals, in conjunction with lifestyle changes, may also help correct these imbalances. And taking these steps may be the start of your journey back to good health.

In Conclusion

What is loneliness and young maleWithdrawing and spending time alone to put your life back together may be a beneficial way to deal with stress. This will allow you some time to answer the question “what is loneliness” and give you time to reflect and heal.

Emotional stress can be just as damaging as other types of stress. So, if experiencing this type of issue, it can be just as problematic for AFS as more obvious, concrete problems. Research indicates that loneliness is a stressor that can lead to a higher demand on the adrenal glands. Over time, it may become a source of chronic stress.

Taking some alone time to deal with whatever brought on the loneliness can serve to relieve the feeling and decrease the stress it brings. This kind of withdrawal leads to healing instead of continuing stress. That’s why you need to do some soul-searching.

You need to ask yourself “What is loneliness for me?” and determine the best strategies for moving past it, or actually using it to improve your life. This is the best way to lower your overall stress and protect your body from its damaging effects.

If you would like to know more about ways to deal with depression and loneliness, the team at Dr. Lam Coaching can help. We offer a free** no-obligation phone consultation at +1 (626) 571-1234 where we will discuss any issues you have in confidence. You can also send us a question through our Ask The Doctor system by clicking here. 

© Copyright 2013-2023 Michael Lam, M.D. All Rights Reserved.

Dr. Lam’s Key Question

The question, “What is loneliness” seems like an obvious one and yet the answer isn’t as simple. Loneliness can be highly damaging to your health, or it can give you a chance to spend some time by yourself, reflect, and make needed changes.

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