People often equate alone time with loneliness. Yet these are two completely different concepts. Alone time means spending some time with yourself, away from other people. And, more often than not, this is a time of reflection where you get to be alone with your thoughts. Spending alone time does not mean you feel lonely.
Loneliness is an emotion far-removed from alone time. It infers a feeling of isolation, of being cut off from other people, and of being cut off from human contact. Loneliness has a negative connotation, while alone time has a positive one. What is more, spending some alone time could have big benefits for your health and wellbeing.
Exposed to much more stress than previous generations, people these days suffer from many stress-related health issues. Stress also has a profound effect on our personalities, the way in which we treat other people, how we react to situations, and how we treat ourselves.
We often tend to add to our stress by having unrealistic expectations of what we should do.
Alone time, however, gives you the opportunity to put things into perspective and may even reduce your stress levels.
We often get stuck in a rut, seeing things as either black or white. In so doing, we tend to fixate on our own perspective only, often seeing those with a different perspective as "other." Essentially, we tend to develop an "us versus them" standpoint. This type of thinking, unfortunately, adds to our stress load because we come to see different perspectives as threats which could result in our NeuroEndoMetabolic (NEM) Stress Response reaction. And while this is fine when of short duration, the long-term perceived stress possibly arriving from this could lead to multiple health issues associated with adrenal fatigue.
When taking some alone time, you cut yourself off from those who tend to reinforce an "us versus them" standpoint. You are by yourself with your thoughts alone. This is the perfect time to reflect on a conflicting point of view and come to accept people's differences. Your sense of empathy for others comes to the fore, and you tend to have more compassion for others.
Many businesses opt for an open floor plan in the belief it promotes better communication. But herein lies a problem. While people tend to communicate more freely in such an environment, productivity tends to drop, according to various studies. Essentially, people tend to perform better when given a measure of privacy.
Privacy gives you a better opportunity to focus on the task at hand. It also gives your mind time to wander and reflect on your work, often seeking and finding solutions in the process.
Having people around you constantly talking diverts your attention. It also gives stress a greater opportunity to settle in because of your possible exposure to negativity.
So, alone time in your work environment may increase your performance ability and lessen your chances of exposure to stressful circumstances.
Humans have a strong social drive. We have a need for social interaction. This is normal, but we also need some time alone.
Various studies suggest that how we experience our time in solitude affects our ability to deal with stress while increasing happiness and overall satisfaction with life. These studies also show that when you enjoy your alone time, your risk of depression reduces.
Alone time can also be used for activities that enhance mental health, such as yoga, exercise, meditation, journaling, or practicing a hobby.
Many parents tend to use isolation as a means of punishment. But you should rather make this a positive experience, a time where children can reflect on their behavior and come to conclusions about how to change it.
Studies show that when you teach a child that alone time is a positive experience, they tend to positively modify their behavior. So, by leading by example, you may have the best-behaved children in the family and on the block.
All of us have dreams. What do we want to do with our life? Where do we want to be in ten years’ time? But many of us never actively plan the ‘how’ of achieving our dreams. We tend to get lost in the hustle and bustle of life, putting our dreams on the back burner, and just getting on with things.
Alone time gives you the opportunity not only to dream, but to plan. What is your goal in ten years’ time? And more importantly, what steps do you intend to take to reach it?
You see, spending this time in solitude gives you the time to sit and plan your progress in achieving your goals while deciding on the changes you need to make in order to do so. It is also a time to consider what you are grateful for in your life, and what you thus may want more of.
Do you really know yourself? The real you, not the person other people think you are.
Many of us tend to judge our self-worth or who we are according to the results of our interactions with others. But is this image you build about yourself really you? The authentic you?
Alone time gives you the opportunity to learn to know yourself. To become comfortable in your skin. It gives you the time to make your own choices with any outside influences. In so doing, it gives you the opportunity to gain insights into who you are, and who you want to be. This means you can make the behavioral changes needed to become an authentic you.
Self-imposed periods of solitude give you a time-out from the hustle and bustle of your daily life. It is a time spent away from other people and their influences. It is also the time spent on reflection and introspection. And it is the time of problem-solving. Essentially, it is a time during which you cut yourself off from your mental stressors, as well as the time during which you decide on, and start implementing, ways and means of dealing with them. Above all, alone time is your opportunity to just give your brain and body a time to relax.
Meditation, for example, is a great tool to induce relaxation and promote mental health, and it also has numerous physiological benefits. Research shows meditation relaxes your body and mind, helps with stress management, helps you focus, encourages clear thinking, reduces the occurrence of negative thoughts, promotes better sleeping, and a whole list more. Taken together, these benefits support and help rejuvenate adrenal function. This is because they tend to address your NEM response to stress, modify cortisol production, and give your adrenal glands a rest from having to produce elevated cortisol levels.
Stress is one of the major contributors toward adrenal fatigue, and by addressing it by means of the meditation process, you encourage the healing process and thus help address the various health issues associated with the condition.
Many of us believe we are too busy to take time out for ourselves. We work hard, have a home to take care of, friends and family that need our attention…the list goes on. But for the most part, these are excuses we make because we do not want to sit and deal with our own thoughts and feelings. Instead, we cram as many activities into our day as possible, so that we are not forced to sit in introspection or, as many put it, to stop and smell the roses.
But we can all make time.
Make a contract with yourself where you put aside ten minutes each day for yourself. This is your time. Go to a quiet space or switch off your cellphone or television set. Make sure nobody will interrupt you. And then, put the focus on yourself.
You may feel silly the first time you do this. But when you persevere, you will find, over time, that you start craving these few moments of peace. You may even find you want to extend this time. Creating the circumstance to take alone time during a tea break or lunch can make a big difference in your day. You could even take this "me time" while soaking in a warm bath at the end of the day. Learn to enjoy your solitude and the gift of your own company.
Creating alone time gives you time for introspection, reflection, and relaxation. It is a stress-free experience you reserve for yourself.
If you have a stressful lifestyle, here are a few things you can do to help alleviate the situation.
If you would like to know more about alone time, the team at Dr. Lam Coaching can help. We offer a free** no-obligation phone consultation at +1-626-571-1234 where we will privately discuss this as well as offering other options. You can also send us a question through our Ask The Doctor system by clicking here.
© Copyright 2021 Michael Lam, M.D. All Rights Reserved.
A resounding yes! Alone time helps you deal with stress, one of the main contributing factors of adrenal fatigue. This time of relaxation and reflection gives you a much-needed break from the stress of everyday life, while promoting a sense of overall health and well-being.