Three days prior to her husband undergoing major surgery, a woman goes to the ER with chest pain. In another situation, a boyfriend and girlfriend get into a huge fight over finances, and they both turn to destructive behavior like drinking and binge eating. In yet another instance, after filing for a divorce a woman is diagnosed with ulcers, high blood pressure, and anxiety. In all of these common scenarios, relationship stress manifests into dangerous health problems. Stress is not a joke. Regardless of where it comes from—environmental, physical, or psychological—chronic stress can cause major harm at a cellular level and affect every organ in your body. Relationship stress is one of the most common and most dangerous forms of stress since it can be a constant source of stress over a prolonged period of time. But it can also be one of the easiest to address. Happiness is a choice. People choose to be happy every day. Despite the fact that stress is an inherent part of modern life, it’s still your choice whether or not you allow the stress of a relationship to affect you.
What is Relationship Stress?
We are social creatures by nature. We gravitate towards relationships because they offer us the possibility of happiness, nurture our souls, and provide us with the compassion we so often need – a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with, or guidance when you feel lost, or perhaps companionship when you feel alone. However, along with all of that, comes relationship stress. This can come in the form of fights, disagreements, trust issues, long working hours. The list is long and daunting. When two people attempt to share their lives, things can get heated. Everyone has their own way of dealing with situations, and this can often clash with the way a partner handles things. That’s when certain measures need to be taken to avoid conflict.
Effective Ways to Deal with Relationship Stress
Making sure you know how to properly deal with relationship stress is important for your health. Your relationships should be sources of positivity, peace, and love, and not negativity, which instead can increase blood pressure and cause emotions to skyrocket and tempers to flare.
Here are some of the most effective ways to deal with relationship stress.
Relationships are teamwork. Whatever situation arises, you and your partner are in this together. It’s not you against each other, it’s the two of you against the problem at hand. And it’s especially important to remember this when you’re tempted to place blame, even if the situation is out of your hands.
Learn to be super flexible. Flexibility is vital in a relationship and can go a long way when dealing with relationship stress. Relationships are based on communication and compromise. When a partner is too rigid, controlling, or unwilling to change, this can cause a lot of stress and it may be more difficult to work through tough times together. So, try to be flexible and willing to change your plans, or simply be there to provide emotional support when it’s needed most.
Make an effort to connect every day. It’s important to stay physically and emotionally connected with your partner, especially when stress hits. Finding small practical ways to let your partner know you’re thinking of them can make a huge difference in their life. Be sure to take time at the beginning or end of each day to acknowledge your partner with physical affection. Or be intimate with your partner in other ways.
Use your rational thinking skills. When stress affects a relationship, it can be difficult to keep emotions at bay. Always pause for a moment before you react. Making sure your reactions are rational and do not supersede a logical course of action will prevent more fuel from being added to the fire.
Master the art of tolerance and compassion for a successful relationship. Understanding how your partner deals with stress can make it much easier to work through any difficult situations that may arise. Some people roll with the punches while others emotionally shut down, and some act a certain way out of fear or anxiety. If you know how you’ll both react to stress ahead of time, you’ll know what to expect, which can make things a bit easier.
Have a game plan. If you can communicate efficiently and create a concrete game plan for any stressful obstacle that may arise, you’ll avoid arguments and resolve issues much faster. This is can be especially important if something major happens, such an illness, job loss, or significant financial hurdle. Having a game plan mapped out can provide direction and offer some relief and reassurance in terms of what the future may hold.
Utilize your support system. Your relationship stress may stem from difficulties between you and your partner. So, having an external support system of friends and family can be extremely helpful for getting advice or just seeking comfort. It will also take some of the stress off of you and your other half. People outside of your relationship can provide a different perspective on certain scenarios.
What Can Happen If Relationship Stress Gets Out of Control?
Yes, relationship stress happens. But you don’t have to let it overwhelm you or become too extreme. If the stress is too much, it can be detrimental to your health and wellbeing. If the issues just can’t be resolved, you may want to think about ending the toxic partnership. Learning how to manage relationship stress can only make relationships stronger if both parties are on board, in equal measure. If you allow the stress in your relationship to spiral out of control, you will put yourself at risk of developing several stress-induced conditions:
Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome (AFS). If stress becomes chronic or extreme, your adrenals may become fatigued and unable to keep up with the body's demand for certain stress hormones required by your body to effectively deal with stressors. The body normally manages stress by activating the NeuroEndoMetabolic (NEM) Stress Response System, comprised of six interconnected circuits including the Hormone, Bioenergetics, Detoxification, Inflammation, Neuroaffect circuit, and Cardionomic Circuits. If the NEM Stress response is compromised, all of these circuits can be affected. When stress hits, the thyroid, adrenals, heart, autonomic nervous system (ANS), brain, and gastrointestinal (GI) tract are all called to action.
Takotsubo Syndrome or Broken Heart Syndrome. When severe mental stress strikes—perhaps from the death of a loved one or a serious accident—temporary heart failure can occur. The condition is triggered by an increase of epinephrine and norepinephrine that causes dysfunction of the left ventricle.
Heart Attacks. Stress can cause ischemia or decreased blood flow to the heart. Psychological stress can also cause heart attacks, especially if you already suffer from cardiovascular artery diseases which make you more vulnerable.
Hypoglycemia. The release of large amounts of cortisol and epinephrine during stressful times can elevate blood sugar levels. This is extremely dangerous if you’re borderline diabetic, diabetic, or taking certain medications.
Anxiety. Most people are familiar with this well-known stress-induced ailment. Symptoms include heart palpitations, chest pressure, insomnia, dry mouth, and panic attacks
Depression. Acute episodes of stress increase cortisol levels but at the same time, dopamine and serotonin levels fall. This can cause your mood to drop and depression to kick in. Depression often requires medical attention.
Hyperalgesia. Stress can actually change the way you tolerate pain. This is one of the main reasons why relaxation is so important during childbirth. Stress, fear, and anxiety can all influence and in fact, increase pain.
Inflammation. All of the inflammatory markers, including interleukin-6, C-reactive protein, and fibrinogen, increase with stress. Stress induces inflammation.
Gastrointestinal disorders. Stress triggers the release of the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin which affect the GI tract and can cause many issues. And stress can also delay or disrupt the digestion leading to nausea and other digestive problems.
Stress and The Brain
Relationship stress and indeed all forms of stress can change the physiology of the brain as a result of cortisol build-up. Your body needs cortisol for normal function. For example, cortisol helps restore balance in the body after a stressful event has occurred, stabilizes blood sugar levels at a cellular level, and plays a major role in hippocampal functions such as memory and processing. However, excess cortisol wears down the body and brain’s ability to function properly. Moreover, it can disrupt the synapses, thereby affecting nerve function, killing brain cells, and even reducing the size of your brain. As a consequence, you may start to avoid interactions with others.
Furthermore, chronic stress increases the size of the amygdala which makes the brain even more susceptible to its adverse effects. And this can put you in a constant state of fight-or-flight.
Bottom Line
Relationship stress and all forms of stress are dangerous for everyone. But you are particularly susceptible to the symptoms of stress if you’re already fragile and weak due to a preexisting condition. Chronic stress, like relationship stress, continuously activates the NEM Stress Response System, so many of the symptoms you experience after a fight could be the result of the stress response. If you’re in a stressful relationship, it is important to immediately address the issues causing stress so you can create a peaceful environment for your body to heal.
Relationship stress is toxic and damaging to everyone, but it can be even worse for those already in fragile states. If you suffer from Adrenal Fatigue, it’s crucial to seek medical advice if you are continually exposed to chronic stress that just never goes away. Stress will only intensify your illness.
Three days prior to her husband undergoing major surgery, a woman goes to the ER with chest pain. In another situation, a boyfriend and girlfriend get into a huge fight over finances, and they both turn to destructive behavior like drinking and binge eating. In yet another instance, after filing for a divorce a woman is diagnosed with ulcers, high blood pressure, and anxiety. In all of these common scenarios, relationship stress manifests into dangerous health problems. Stress is not a joke. Regardless of where it comes from—environmental, physical, or psychological—chronic stress can cause major harm at a cellular level and affect every organ in your body. Relationship stress is one of the most common and most dangerous forms of stress since it can be a constant source of stress over a prolonged period of time. But it can also be one of the easiest to address. Happiness is a choice. People choose to be happy every day. Despite the fact that stress is an inherent part of modern life, it’s still your choice whether or not you allow the stress of a relationship to affect you.
Making sure you know how to properly deal with relationship stress is important for your health. Your relationships should be sources of positivity, peace, and love, and not negativity, which instead can increase blood pressure and cause emotions to skyrocket and tempers to flare.
Relationship stress and indeed all forms of stress can change the physiology of the brain as a result of cortisol build-up. Your body needs cortisol for normal function. For example, cortisol helps restore balance in the body after a stressful event has occurred, stabilizes blood sugar levels at a cellular level, and plays a major role in hippocampal functions such as memory and processing. However, excess cortisol wears down the body and brain’s ability to function properly. Moreover, it can disrupt the synapses, thereby affecting nerve function, killing brain cells, and even reducing the size of your brain. As a consequence, you may start to avoid interactions with others.
